Nothing sounds like a better plan to prepare for a track and field competition than pounding down a few vodka and Red Bull’s to get yourself loose for the competition.  At least that’s what Russian high jumper Ivan Ukhov must have been thinking this past week when he entered the Athletissima meet and prepared himself by downing a few of those bad boys.

Ukhov is now being called in by track and field’s rulling body (which is apparently so lame they don’t even have initials) to explain his actions.  Maybe Ukhov was stupid enough to fall into the Red Bull marketing slogan and hoped that he would get wings and be able to fly over the bar.  Unfortuantely that didn’t work out, and as any (intelligent) person would be able to predict, Ukhov was unable to clear the bar on any of his attempts, and was then asked by organizers to leave.

Luckily for Ukhov, drunking is not technically banned in athletic competition, and neither is stupidity so he should get off relatively lightly.  Although the major concern here should not be why he was drinking before the meet, or how he should be punished, the msot important thing here is why the hell was he mixing the vodka.  He is Russian and not to stereotype, they’re supposed to be able to handle vodka like champs.  Hell I can take shots of vodka straight and I’m not even of Russian descent.  This serves as an official notice to Russia, stop worrying about invading Georgia and start worrying about making sure your athletes don’t embarrass you by having to mix your national drink.

In this edition we take a look at the AFC West, complete with two of the worst teams in football (Chiefs and Raiders) and one of the best (Chargers).  In addition to discussing these teams in depth, we make our playoff and Super Bowl predictions, and you don’t want to miss those.

Hosts: Kevin, Rich, Ryan, Sonny

 

 AFC West [46:32m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Last Week: 3-1 (Thanks Vols!)
Season to Date: 3-1

Texas Tech -10 over Nevada: No, I don’t see the Red Raiders rolling through the Big 12, or even beating the likes of Oklahoma. But I do love them here. Mike Leach’s offense is unique and while the elite teams like Oklahoma and Texas can slow it down, nonconference teams usually have no chance. Nevada will have the support of the 75-year-old citizens of Reno, but that’s not going to them much good against Michael Crabtree and Co. Both teams will put up points, Tech will just put up a lot more.

Arizona State -14 over Stanford: Sure, the Cardinal got off to a nice start by knocking off Oregon State last Thursday night. But Oregon State is not an upper echelon Pac-10 team like the Sun Devils. Rudy Carpenter looked in midseason form in ASU’s opening romp over Northern Arizona. Look for ASU to continue their series of routs over Stanford here. In the last two meetings, they’ve outscored Stanford a whopping 79-6.

Wake Forest -8 over Mississippi: I loved what I saw from Wake last week, going on the road and dismantling Baylor. Ole Miss also got their season off to a winning start, beating Louisiana Tech 41-24. However, they allowed a whopping 450+ total yards. Think that’ll fly against a strong Wake offense and stingy defense? Negative.

Notre Dame -23 over San Diego State: Charlie Weis wants to pound the ball this weekend. He’ll have a much easier time doing it against a ravaged defensive line for the Aztecs. Approximately eight Aztec d-linemen are hurt. It’s so bad, they’ve moved All Mountain West linebacker Russell Allen to defensive end. Not good for a team that got outrushed 263-27 by Cal Poly of the FCS.

Update: Late tonight, I looked further into the Wake-Ole Miss matchup and became a little timid about it. Ole Miss has Jevon Snead now? Therefore, I’m replacing that pick with Oklahoma -21 over Cincinnati. Norman, OK is a snakepit for opposing quarterbacks, especially ones with more interceptions than touchdowns in the career.

Last Year’ Winner: Sonny

Ryan: Bengals -2 over Ravens. A week one matchup between two AFC North bottom feeders should be a relatively close encounter. However, I’ll side with the Bengals in this one. It’s week one, meaning half their team hasn’t been arrested yet. Joe Flacco won the offseason quarterback competition by default after an injury to Kyle Boller.
Sonny: Bengals -2 over Ravens.
Rich: Bengals -2 over Ravens.
Kevin: Bengals -2 over Ravens.

Ry: Dolphins +3 over Brettie and the Jets. A result that I’m really pulling for. How sweet would it be for Chad Pennington to beat the team that just released him? We know all about Jet Favre under center for New York. The Dolphins won’t win many this year, but my wishful thinking has them pulling off this minor upset at home.
S: Broadway Brett -3 over Dolphins.
Ri: Jets -3 over LOLphins.
K: Jets -3 over Dolphins.

Ry: Hoodie -17 over Chiefs. There’s no telling how the Patriots will come out of the gates, especially with them being so hush-hush over Tom Brady’s foot. But provided he’s under center, the Pats shouldn’t break much of a sweat here. Big spread? Yes. Obtainable? Very.
S: Patriots -17 over Chiefs.
Ri: Pats -17 over Chiefs.
K: Patriots -17 over Chiefs.

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Do not, and I repeat, do not try and tackle Brandon Jacobs above the waist.  Laron Landry tried it last night and it ended with the first massive hit of the 2008 season.  What’s that, Laron?  You want some forearm pie?  Boom. Enjoy the lick for what it is.

In this episode we take a look at perhaps the strongest division in football, the AFC South.  While we all agree that the Jaguars and Colts are the clear cut favorites in this division, the entire Sportable staff seems to be real high on the Houston Texas, and their chances for a good year.

Hosts: Kevin, Rich, Ryan, Sonny

 

 AFC South [34:52m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download